Up against a wall. At an impasse. No idea how to proceed.

In Spirit by Melani Marx

Happy Super Blue Moon, beautiful and amazing human!

A wise man asked me a question today that caused me to laugh out loud, because it was very much in line with the theme of the day, the week, the month, the year – the energies we are all swimming in here on planet Earth. 

“What is the difference between surrender and allowing?”

I got quiet, dropped in and the memory of the many, many, many times I had conscioulsy surrendered came rushing back to me.

Surrender always took place when I’d hit a dead end. Was at an impasse. Wallowing in despair and hopelessness. Did not know what to do next. How to step forward. How to proceed. At a loss. Up against a wall.

Surrender, or my version, looks like me gathering my dilemma, no matter how small or large, in my cupped hands and literally lifting them to the “heavens.” 

Offering the situation up with an out-loud prayer…

“Dearest Divine Beloved, Creator, All That Is… I have done everything I know to do and I am stuck. 

I do not know how to do this thing, move forward, proceed. Be with this…


I ask for your support and assistance. I ask for your guidance and help. 

I ask for your generous and abundantly infinite wisdom with this_____.

Thank you. Thank you! Thank you!


Surrender is the prayer.


Allowing is making myself open and ready to receive…

It means listening for an answer in whatever form it comes, whenever it arrives, from wherever it comes.

A sign. 

A whisper.

A shift in consciousness

A miracle.

A brass band.

Surrender is a true act of courage.

It does NOT mean giving up. 

Surrender means opening to the possibility that you do not have to do this alone. Humans are not meant to do Life alone. 

Surrender means connecting with your inner positive Warrior – who knows with absolute certainty that you never, ever go into battle by yourself or fight alone.

If asking the Divine for help is off-putting, then ask your guides. That is their sole job – to support you. 

However I have found that going straight to the Infinite brings a greater sense of relief, comfort and faith in the solution. It centers me in the Divine Essence streaming through my own being, reminding of who and what I truly am. 

Allowing is an even greater act of courage. 

It means allowing the defenses around your heart, mind and spirit to soften and drop so that you may receive the abundant blessings of Life. 

So that the prayers you have been praying your whole life can finally find you.

Allowing means that you are willing to allow for the possibilities.

It does NOT mean you have to know the how of something happening, changing, shifting. 

That is actually not our job as humans. 

It is our job to get clear about what we want, need, truly desire. 

Then let go and do whatever shows up next to do, no matter what it is. Take a walk. Make a phone call. Wash the dishes. Take a nap. Do the laundry. Hug your beloved. 

In point of fact we cannot know the “how” of it. 

As Einstein famously said – “No problem can be solved in the same consciousness in which it was created.”

In other words… we are sitting in the consciousness of dilemma, therefore we have no ability to be IN the consciousness of the solution. 

We CAN get clear on where we are – in the soup, in pain, in a pickle.

We CAN surrender, lift it up, ask for support.

We CAN consciously out loud release resistance, open and allow the solutions and new consciousness to arrive. 

We open to Grace.

This is not a one and done.

This becomes a practice.

We do this over and over and over again.

This is how we transform our lives. Our minds. Our circumstances. 

We start inside our very own being.

We are willing. Willing to shift, to drop the limitations, to open and receive, to fully love. It’s useful to even say it our loud. “I am willing.”

We keep coming back to ourselves. 

Loving those youngest parts and deeply listening for their tales of trauma, of not belonging, of not being fully welcomed or unconditionally met. These are the places of resistance.

“Letting go of the resistance to the transformation IS the transformation.” ~ Ashwini Narayanan

The wise man left me with one last question today.

“When will you allow yourself to let go of all the things you are holding onto that you are trying to let go of?”

My answer was a resounding, “Right now!!!” 

Which brought me right back to surrender and allowing.

I have a little Surrender Song for you.

This is my go to song to sing when I am holding on too tightly – to fear, to outcome, to resistance, to disbelief, to a stance, to anything.

It helps me remember what is true. It reminds me that I am in the flow of Life and all is well. 

Listen here.