I wish I’d known then what I know now

In Soul by Melani Marx

Hello lovely and amazing human!

Thanks for being here on planet Earth. I am glad you are.

I am going to tell you a story…

Once upon a time there was a beautiful young woman walking through her life. She grew up believing and being shown that other’s needs were more important than her own so she was always making sure everyone around her were getting theirs met.

She had to grow up quickly because of circumstances in her home and become very independent and self-sufficient.

This felt very normal to her.

She was courteous. She was kind. She was strong. She saw what other’s needed including her children, her coworkers, clients and employers and she took care of them.

She worked hard, was good at her work and carried a lot of responsibility on her shoulders.

One day she found herself in a marriage to a man that she thought she loved.

As time went on they began to have problems and she found herself deeply unhappy. Her husband blamed all of their problems on her anger.

She found this puzzling because she’d never felt all that much anger in her life before. She had always felt way more fear and sadness than anger about things.

One day she and her husband were on her favorite island getting ready to walk into one of her very favorite places. As they were walking in all of a sudden she felt sooo angry!

In that moment she took a step back and thought… wait! What just happened? One moment she was happy, feeling the Sun and enjoying herself and the next?!

She took another step back and retraced the morning up until now.

In that moment she looked at her husband and realized that this was not even her anger! It was his.

This was what they call a clarifying moment for her.

Even though she did not understand the mechanics of what had happened she absolutely knew that she was not feeling just her feelings and that it was not her or her anger that was the problem.

She began to wonder about this and pay closer attention to her energy as she moved through the world. And, yes. She did end that marriage.

Later she heard of something called an empath and realized that she was one.

What she didn’t discover until way later was how to work with this awareness in a way that didn’t throw her around or cause her days and weeks of processing emotions that weren’t even hers or feeling things in the collective!

Because you simply CANNOT process someone else’s emotions… they just don’t resolve. It is endless.

At one point she was so invested in the idea that her needs were less important than others – the legacy of her upbringing – that she actually thought she was helping others and the world by feeling their feelings.

It also made her feel slightly special.

This same lovely woman had children. They were marvelous teachers for her.

Here are some things they taught her about –

Wanting something for someone more than they want it for themselves. She had a child that struggled with mental health and addiction issues for a very long time.

Believing you know what someone else needs and gently or not so gently pushing them to move in that direction.

Wanting someone to do something and using one’s energy to nudge them in that direction.

Believing that most humans, including herself were reclamation projects just waiting to be fixed up.

All of these ways of being were born of love and compassion, but unknown to her at that point, sent her energy into theirs in a most inappropriate way.

This actually created resentment, frustration and miscommunication in these relationships from the constant unconscious merging of energies as well as unconscious expectations.

Over time she came to believe that each of her children as well as she, herself had a path that was intrinsic to their own Soul. That, that Soul knew exactly what it was doing – even if SHE thought it looked disastrous.

She learned to let go. Each one of her children became fully formed and extraordinary humans.

Any of us who were sensitive, aware beings that grew up in chaotic homes or with inattentive parents, most likely have the propensity to do this. 
We habitually send out energy out into situations, people, places and things in an unconscious desire to feel safer. To feel like we have some power and control over things. 
We want and need to feel safe. This is human. 
Sometimes we become spread out all over the place and merge with the hopelessness, grief, fear and terror of mass consciousness. Yikes! This one certainly doesn’t help anyone!
We learned to use our energy this way as children.
Unfortunately, we never learned another, more effective way to walk through the world. 
A way that truly does create a greater sense of safety. Pro tip –  leaving ourselves in this way, energetically actually creates anxiousness in our body.
A way that allows us to rest into ourselves and move though the world with more ease.
We never learned how to effectively call our energy back from people places and things.
When we do learn to truly call ourselves back to ourselves  we may utilize our energy for our own healing and whole-ing. 
For being all that we truly are.  
For standing in our own sovereignty and expressing what we came here to do. 
For valuing ourselves as precious, worthy, brilliant and meeting our own needs. 
This is the journey of discovery and holy-wholeness of being all that she is, that the lovely young very human woman embarked on long ago. 
That she has devoted her life to. 
As you can imagine, she/I learned much along the way.  

I learned and continue to learn and refine effective, simple and reliable tools to work with my own energy. To stay with me. To empower me. To do my work in the world, cleanly and effectively. 
Those I have shared them with tell me that they are brilliant, life changing and that they really do indeed work.

Those who’ve known they have boundary issues but have struggled with them suddenly understand in a whole new way and make great strides. 
They tell me they have enriched their lives.  Been an answer to a prayer. Improved their relationship immensely. Helped them heal. Allowed them to keep working. 
And so much more.
I am going to be sharing and teaching them again next week in a safe, intimate, secure and sacred container. There will be lots of time to try them on and practice, ask questions, get familiar. And unless you feel particularly led no need to share your own history. 
This is about a new way of interacting with life. 
This is a transmission by someone who has embodied this knowing, these tools, this way of moving through the world. 
As I write this there are spots. Intimate. Small. Personal.
I would love to have you join me. 
All the information is here.
Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions, especially about whether this is right for you. 
PS – Perhaps if I’d known then what I know now? 

A few last words…. 
Please remember, dear one  – 

To take some time every day….

To sit and breathe deep into your belly. 
To sing songs to yourself. 
To humm and dance. 
To shake and bounce on your toes.
To slow down and allow yourself to integrate all that is going on.
To do absolutely nothing – if only for five minutes. 
To notice the beauty around you.
To eat and enjoy delicious foods your body loves. 
To come back to your Center as often as you remember.

To tuck yourself sweetly into bed at night.
To hold yourself very lovingly, very gently and oh, so very kindly. 
To say out loud three times – “I love my Life. I love my body. I love myself.” 
To savor the small moments.
May every single day bring you the sweetest gifts of Wonder, Magic and Beauty…  

And when you see them may you remember that these are magnificent reflections of your own amazing Self.