Crazy and Desperate

Crazy and Desperate

In Spirit by Melani Marx

Once upon a time I was a desperate woman.

I was a single mother of three very small children. I was broke. No job. No child support. Not much support of any kind actually in my life. My history was one of extreme disfunction. My family of origin was filled with the kind of crazy they write books about.

About the time my second child was born I came to understand that there was something very, very wrong with my life – and I was convinced, with me as well. Otherwise why in heaven would I keep ending up in these crazy situations, married to someone with serious substance abuse issues, a history of violence at the hands of others and smiling all the while so no one would know how desperate I was?

I came to understand I was crazy too – just not the clinical diagnostic kind.

This was my line in the sand moment. I stood in my living room and vowed with every particle of my being that I would turn this around. I would heal. I would break the heavy and constricting chains that bound me. I would not pass this crazy on to my children. No way. No how. Not happening.

I wanted nothing less than a miracle. A big one. I would be happy. I would be free. I would. I would. “Hell yes!” – I would!

Thus began my  journey of unraveling and transforming the crazy into inner peace – even in the face of life’s inevitable hurricanes.

Unfortunately, there was no switch I could flip to just make it all better. This journey was and still is a process. Life IS a process of unfolding. Every decision, every step, every movement toward health and wholeness creating a wider, happier and freer flowing river of life experience. I didn’t know this then. I just wanted to feel better. Be better. I wanted results. I needed practical – raising three kids. I wanted shortcuts.  Truth is I still do.

I got help. I began to gather tools – for myself, for my children. I studied. I learned. I practiced. I prayed. I explored. I searched. I went at this as if my life depended on it – and at times it really, truly did.

I’ve learned volumes about healing and personal transformation. I have partnered with my children, friends, students and clients for extraordinary and miraculous outcomes. For freedom. For liberation. For happiness. For a bright future.

I’ve found brilliant methods. I have acquired some truly amazing tools. I’ve even found some real-live shortcuts. I have a little innate talent and I have 10,000 hours of deep practice. I have experienced thousands of miracles – for myself, my children, my clients.

I am certainly not finished with this. I am still learning. I wouldn’t want it any other way. My own miraculous life is the mystery school.

I work with people who want to experience their own healing and transformation. Most of them have been doing their own inner work for a long time. They know that true healing and transformation is a partnership, not about getting “fixed” by another. Many of them are healers, creatives and visionaries of some kind themselves. All of them are committed to living the fullest possible expression of their own Soul’s Essence – in this lifetime. Every one of them wants a miracle.

I guess they are in the right place. I am a living breathing miracle. I know this. Based on where I have been and what I’ve experienced in my life vs the quality of my daily experience now? Oh, yeah – big time miraculous.

As one client who’s experienced many big miracles of her own says, “Melani makes miracles ordinary.”

I can’t promise miracles. I can promise that if you turn and fully meet me in the field of Infinite Possibility – where all true healing occurs – that things will change. You will transform. Your compass heading will shift toward a fuller and more satisfying expression of you. Whatever chains are binding you will loosen and eventually fall away. It will happen in exactly the right and perfect timing for you. Because your Soul, dear one is wise and smart and has the capacity. This I know with every fibre of my being.