What are you really hungry for?

 

This is the question I was asked a week or so ago by someone I admire, love and trust.

 

As I allowed that question to settle in and find its way to the deepest truth I held in my being in that moment, I felt all kinds of squirmy, uncomfortable and exciting feelings coming together.

 

The words…

 

Nourishment. Simplicity. Spaciousness. Homecoming… quietly floated through my mind, allowing even more room to open up in my belly, my chest, my heart.

 

I allowed these words to land like delicate seeds in rich, dark, fertile soil. Simply sitting with them. Not making anything of them. Just noticing the texture and feel of them.

 

With this question foremost in mind as I worked/ played in my journal I realized that this vessel of my daily creative expression – my beloved journal –  is packed tight, bulging at the seams, tiny writing, every single page filled to the brim. Lots and lots of pages taped and added in everywhere. Full. Tight. Not enough room.

 

What once felt adventurous and daring now felt cramped and constricting.

 

As I simply noticed this without judgment it occurred to me that this was an expression of an old fear of spreading out. Of giving myself room. Of taking space. The space I was so deeply hungry for.

I saw that this is an old habit. The unconscious shadow still playing out of squeezing myself into, shrinking down, holding back, making nice, toning down, being quiet, playing by someones else’s rules. Being small-er than I truly am.At some point this served me well. Very, very well. It was a survival tactic. A defense strategy. It helped me grow. Blossom. Become who I am in this moment.

 

And now this strategy is like a too tight pair of shoes. It hobbles rather than supports freedom and growth.

 

It simply no longer serves. At All.

 

Taking space.

 

Hmmm….

 

The very next day, at my friend’s suggestion, I went out and got myself the largest journal I could find. Twice the size of my comfortable familiar choice. I chose this as a challenge. An invitation. A question. A wondering. A dance – with myself.

 

I started by adding color to the inside of the front cover and then the back.  Warming up.

 

Then I deliberately and boldly wrote my big, burning question across two very large pages in the front…

 

 

I’ve been opening to the answers to this question ever since.

 

I’ve been using this journal as my practice to take space. To ponder. Explore. To open my arms wide and stretch in one place because I know that each thing we do affects every other thing we do. NO-thing is separate from another.

 

Sometimes there are lines in the sand we cross and nothing is ever the same.

 

More often our growth is a series of small awarenesses.

 

The choices and decisions we make as we become aware…

 

~ Of the shape of our own inner landscape, our longings, our stumbling blocks, our tangled bits, our intrinsic beauty.

 

~ Of the reflection we are observing from what is around us and what that stirs within us.

 

It is the willingness to shine a light, or have it shone, into our own dark unknown. Then having the good courage to see what is there. Choosing

 

Spaciousness.

 

Love.

 

Beauty.

 

Community.

 

Creative Expression.

 

Peace.

 

Whatever is calling YOU… and answering that call in small ways that build – one upon another. Hand-crafting your precious life.

 

It is paying attention to the questions we are being asked. And the deeper questions we are asking ourselves.

 

Becoming experts in our own inner language of desire. Learning how to sit with the sometimes unbearable tension of that longing. Recognizing that true desire is your own Soul calling you on toward your own ever deepening fulfillment.

 

It is recognizing that sometimes your path will be a path that is not the same as your family. Your friends. Your community at large. You can expect to feel alone at times. This helps you to fall back on yourself. To learn to develop a stronger trust and intimacy with your own deeper knowing and wisdom  – your Higher Self, if you will.

 

It is knowing when appropriate external support will be advantageous and help you to soar and when it will simply muddy the waters. Then trusting that knowing.

 

AND… These seemingly small awarenesses lead you to the bigger questions.

 

These modest movements support and allow for the tipping point of awareness and understanding that can become the line in the sand you cross and never go back to again.

 

Those moments of transcendent understanding.  When nothing is ever the same.

 


 

 

Wishing you…

 

Every. Single. Beautiful. Good thing!

 

Love and joyful blessings,

 

Melani


 

 

 

Supporting clients to release constrictions that limit them from being lifted up to their next highest potential outcomes – whatever they may be.

 

***

“Melani, lots of people can hold space for people. What you do is sooo much more than that. You hold huge space. Safe space. A space of unlimited potentiality with no agenda about what that should or might look like for anyone. That is a are gift.”

 

***

“When I compare my fear and body state to where I began – it seems miraculous that our sessions could have cleared away so much stress,  deep trauma and fear.  We were able to surface and clear the core beliefs and patterns that maintained the fear and trauma in my body, my feelings, and my mind.  I feel that I have entered a clearer, lighter way of being, and a more embracing, loving relationship with my body.  Knowing you and receiving your guidance, healing, love, and spiritual gifts continues to be one of my great blessings.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!”   

 

Are you desiring strong, experienced and loving support to make your own next leap forward? Let’s have a conversation. Schedule one here.

 


 

 

Portrait photos:Thomas Doty
All other photo credits: Melani Marx 

{ 0 comments }

On Resistance and Flow

July 27, 2016

I was feeling so dang proud of myself! In the midst of packing up my personal, creative and business life for my annual five week stay in the San Juan Islands, AND doing all the usual stuff – working with clients, laundry, eating well, answering email and keeping my groove on – Monday morning I […]

Read the full article →

Trust the Unfolding…

June 14, 2016

“We know that there is much that is changing – inside and out.  Much that is being asked of you in stepping more fully into the Truth of who you are. The bigger version and expanded knowing that is available to each of you. Pause for moment and listen for that. Let your awareness reach […]

Read the full article →

Mercy

June 9, 2016

Start where you are.   Do it now. Not in ten feet or twenty. Now. This very moment.   Call yourself back to yourself. Listen to your tender parts. Hear what they have to tell you. The treasure and riches they have to share.   Do not turn away from your own nakedness. Be a […]

Read the full article →

I Used to Believe…

June 4, 2016

I used to believe that I was unlovable. I was unimportant and that what I did didn’t matter much. That at the most basic level I was flawed and wrong. Ugly. Untalented. Stupid. I believed I was too big, too loud and just plain – too much. I believed I needed to figure out how to […]

Read the full article →

Practice Possibility

June 1, 2016

  Practice Possibility. Use its name. Call it in…    When you feel uncertain or nervous. When you feel up against a wall. When you feel tired and overwhelmed. When you feel contracted or worried about the future. When you don’t know what to do next.   Let possibility inform your actions, your thinking, your view….  When you feel in conflict […]

Read the full article →

No Part of You Left Behind

May 26, 2016

  Be yourself. Open and receive all that you are – the darkness and the shame – the beautiful and the bright. They are equally precious and holy.  Love starts with you. You cannot love another to any greater degree than you love and accept yourself. Neither can you truly receive love to any greater […]

Read the full article →

Have Faith

May 11, 2016

“Right now things are moving very fast. What took years – decades – even multiple lifetimes to shift is now happening in the blink of an eye so-to-speak. This is such a fertile time and it can leave you a bit out of sorts, even beside yourself as so much shifts so rapidly inside – and […]

Read the full article →

You. Matter.

May 4, 2016

Here is what I want you to know today…   I want you to know that you matter. That you make a difference simply by your presence here on the planet. That sometimes life is excruciatingly hard… and still it is soooo worth it. That everything changes – the good and the awful. That simple […]

Read the full article →

What Keeps You From Having What You Really Want

April 27, 2016

I’m curious. Do you ever do this? Say to yourself, ” I want ________. I really, really want this (whatever it is).” And then the Universe comes along and drops an opportunity – or many – right in front of you to move you toward that – and you pull back. You might unconsciously say […]

Read the full article →